I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
