Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
