My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize