I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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