PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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