Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
