she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
