its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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