look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
