He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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