I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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