After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
