Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize