dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
