It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So vagazzling was a success
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
