you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
