god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
