So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
