gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
