You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
