proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
pray to the hookup gods
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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