is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
