Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
