Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
