You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Couch. On fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize