She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
