I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
