my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize