If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize