So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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