this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
