I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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