Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
