Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
