Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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