did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
