I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
