You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
