The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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