I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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