I'm jealous of your bromance
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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