There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
