What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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