I'm going to jail i love you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
