I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
