I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
