Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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