we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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