Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
