I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
