hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
