Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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