Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
