He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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