What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
