You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
