Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
