just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
