I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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