Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize